I'm so tired of dating women who lie about their age. You show up feeling like you need to follow them around with a dust pan and a broom.
he said he wished he had more hands so he could firmly hold my boobs.
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
definitely fulfilled the lesbian status quo and fucked her in the back seat of my prius
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Nothing bonds a father and daughter like washing her puke off the front steps
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
Ah. Hot spring. Infinitely less skeevy than a hot tub. These North Carolinian dudes are all class.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
at least he now gets to tell people how he once threw a party so epic that the next day they had to clean some girl's body paint off the ceiling
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