Reach down the front of your pants and feel around for a while. When you find your balls, leave the library and meet me at the bar.
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
Literally getting boned by my flask right now. I didn't really think about this whole sneaking past security in a skin tight dress.
I told myself this year would be different, I wouldn't get "pee in a fish tank drunk".. Got to the girls house... Fish tank in her room.. 2 years in a row.. had to keep the tradition going
at what point did you think saran wrap was a better alternative to shoes?
You got a blow job by a girl whose nickname is "the terrible tooth"?! You are a brave man.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
I someohow managed to lose my butt plug in tne midst of moving to B.C. and I am not a happy camper.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
sometimes i forget what nice tits i have and then i spend a month brushing my teeth naked in the front of the bathroom mirror, and i remember.
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
Randomize
