I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
the cashier wished me a happy fathers day while i bought condoms
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
Question: what's the protocol for seeing your mistress walking alongside her clueless boyfriend? If you could answer this ten minutes ago, that'd be great.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
He was 6'8" - I shit you not! He sat up in my bed and the ceiling fan got him right in the forehead.
I thought one was bad but really there are two woman stupid enough to marry our brother...unreal
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