your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
so...he totally just used scissors to cut up the weed. a wet paper towel to moisten the blunt....and a blow dryer so it wouldn't be wet. this dude either has the worst case of OCD or has the potential to be the next martha stewart.
He's playing farmville on his phone while puking over the toilet..
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Hey he's not bad, although he did have a glass eye
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I would literally only have sex with a dinosaur right now.
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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