I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
WHY AREWNT YOU HERE SO MUCH FUN STUFF DO IT GET IN CAR NOW caps lock
He told me I handled myself pretty well considering how drunk I was. He failed to realize that the lollipop I had was one I found on the ground a few minutes before hand.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
first party of the semester tomorrow. thinking of wearing a huge sign that says "my summer was good" to avoid the 67 questions and get straight to drinking
oh no, don't get me wrong.. she IS really pretty. If you are in to horses or Sarah Jessica Parker.
Just took last nights make up off with a sock. That hungover.
Have you seen our bachelor? He's MIA. Last seen being led to some hookers by Kanye look-a-like.
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Just come home. We will have sex and Taco Bell. I'm feeling wild, I put on temporary tattoos.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
I am texting my ex and my future boyfriend while eating fish and chips with my current boyfriend... How and when did I become such a terrible person???
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