My gynecologist inadvertently complimented your penis.
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
She said to bring taco sauce. Hoping that's a euphemism.
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
Realized we were outta oj used gerber graduates mixed fruit juice as a mixer. Mother of the Year award right here
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
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