Maybe i should go to church more so i can meet girls like in that song, you know, the ones that act slutty on every day but sunday...
ah, so the catholic church. i gotcha
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
Fuck the gym. I just shaved m'cooch and my pants now fit looser.... Dont judge me.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
The next time you try to drunkenly strip me in public let's make sure it's not anywhere near the daiquiri factory or a group of police officers.
I desperately wanted to wear your shirt.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Nothing like being buzzed at 10:20am off wine shots in Amish country
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
I sat on the bathroom floor yelling "hell hath no fury!" for about 20 minutes.
It's definitely revenge time.
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Just got back from a Walmart run. The music went straight from Kid Rock to John Phillip Souza. If that doesn't scream 'MURICA I don't know what will. Happy 4th!
I mean, I'm not hammered, but I definitely can't show my face or tits in that bowling alley again
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