i find it a beautiful talent that i know how much pubic hair the girl in the next stall has just from the sound of her urine
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
god is playing jersey shore on new years on purpose. he wants me to play drinking games and die. i wish he knew how serious this is.
I had a pretty decent weekend -- aside from dropping the baby on her head. That.. That I feel bad about.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wedding update: no alcohol, 75% of people have left, no one is dancing, no single groomsmen, and it's 5:30. I'm going the fuck home to drink by myself.
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
it was like, one of those nights where you keep going back to the fridge because you just can't get full. except, with sex.
I was just stopped at a stop sign waiting for the moon to turn green.
Ice cream and condoms, solid grocery store trip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well it was great until i saw his anime body pillow
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I'm in the Sheetz parking lot waiting for dad to finish a drug deal.
I watched one of the videos of you hanging from the rafters, and it is both violent and sexual in nature.
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
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