Do you think they'll have a special part during the BET awards for Michael Jackson even though he turned white?
Its a sad when the highlight of your day is flicking a booger and actually getting it to stick to your computer monitor.
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I hid a girl's boot last night so I could ransom it back this morning via the "blowjobs for boots" program.
We were all drunk for the whole flight. Steve doesn't even remember the cab ride to the airport. At 6am. Says he "blacked back in" at security.
I'm going to practice throwing things up the the air and catching them between my boobs, because that seems like a cool party trick.
So much to do, haven't done anything except hook up with sailors and work on my tan.
Soggy bong water carpet is the worst kind of carpet.
I'm like still hungover from the quinceanera.
I think when Jesus turned water into wine it was a sign that we should get drunk off Sangria tonight. Do it for Jesus. He died for your sins.
Mmm. Champagne. Weed. 17 pounds of animal crackers.
Why is the toilet broken? Why did I wake up naked in the shower, hugging a bath mat? WHY IS THE TOILET BROKEN?
Is it just clogged or something?
No! There are actual chunks of toilet on the floor.
Randomize
