Guess who has two thumbs, loves booze, and just dug half a handle of rumb out of a trash can in a freshmen dorm? This classy gentleman. Good day to you sir!
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
i googled "where to have sex in disneyland." i found nothing.
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
The sales associate looked at me funny for wobbling in the heels i was trying on until i told her i was trying to see how well i'd be able to drunk walk in these tonight
It's raining. Will need ride home and blow job.
I know. I need to get a vagina tranquilizer.
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
I wish my brain had a "congrats you just defeated the munchies" notification!
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
