My whole home page is your drunken face booking, congrats.
He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
You brought out the iron board layed it on the ground in the middle of everyone and passed out for the night
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
How do you get a 7 on a pregnancy test?
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
You are. Embrace it. But you are the right kind of asshole.
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
