i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
You tried to tell me you weren't high while you were eating French onion dip out of the jar with a spoon
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
The hot tub didn't work. But it's okay because we discovered just how many people you can fit in a bathtub.
Totally just drove past you riding your bike. I was like damn, that looks like a cute little hipster boy, and then I realized it was you and that I'd already banged you and it kinda made my day. I hope you're well. Come over soon?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
we got her to the bathroom intime. all she could say was 'now my bladder is empty just like my soul'
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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