hotel room ftw
Babe! I just farted and I swear to jesus lord christ that it sounded like ur name! Ok, more like Meeatt but still... awesome.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
Not everyone can get ass. Some people are good at building rockets. You’re good at sleeping with many men. It’s an art.
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
gymnastic barn sex. fuck i wish i hadn't blacked out
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
I'm like the big dick whisperer.
He came over and fucked me while my conference call was on mute. Working from home is the best.
I'd still fuck that
You'd fuck a dead moose
Quite possible
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize
