Why do I feel like that's not the first time you've drank champagne with someone dressed as a unicorn?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
Why are there sofa cushions on the floor? And why isn't there a sofa in this room that doesn't have cushions?
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
He shoved his balls through an egg carton and showed us a picture. They were surprisingly egg-like.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
Holy shit there is too much Taco Bell here to talk to you
then she lifted her dress, tweaked her own nipples, and then ordered another round for everyone. this place is wild at 9pm.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
Do NOT approach him. He has sex with everything. LITERALLY everything, and I DO mean everything. He's so horny we once caught him with his dick in a pumpkin. A legitimate honest to God pumpkin that he bored a hole in
So I'm at home coloring while smoking a joint. It can only go down hill from here.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
Saw throw up in the parking lot at work, glad I'm not the only one. But now the search begins.
Mary's wearing shades at her desk, brilliant!
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