Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
He picked me up from the airport wearing nothing but a trench coat and a bow on his dick
If it's any consolation, your boobs looked awesome.
I woke up to him drunk-t-bagging me, saying "huevos rancheros" were being served for breakfast.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
There is naked swordfighting and something green and alcoholic going on in the basement. COME. OVER. NOW.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
At the bar, some guy bumped into you and you screamed "hey, don't touch what you can't afford sunshine!"
And your boyfriend doesn't mind you constantly taking pictures of his dick just to freak out your brother?
its more like he's accepted that he can't stop me
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
