I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Is it sad that I just used my electrical knowledge to not only fix but improve my vibrator?
I fucked her and then she made me sleep on the floor next to her bed because she 'has a committment problem'
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
On a totally unrelated note, captain four hour sexcapades lost it in his boxers this morning and tried to pretend it didnt happen. Lmao
The plan was to get laid... Now the plan is to survive.
driving home I had the GPS in one hand and puking in the coffee cup
So no more sangria road trips?
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
Operation terrify all men while simultaneously make them fall in love with me is going quite swimmingly so far
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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