You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
nyquil sex gave me 6 orgasms so I support that
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
One day her vagina is just going to shrivel up and seal itself with it's self preservation mechanism
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
just imagine me sitting naked on a toilet with a fully-clothed dude i havent seen in 2 years, trying to make normal conversation except that im covered in blood and he's helping wipe me down while i try not to pass out because blood makes me NERVOUS. And he's apologizing and i'm apologizing.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I didn't want dick. I wanted spaghetti.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
Wanna get drunk and play candy land? If so you are 2 steps behind.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
