I murdered the dance floor call the cops
was it mean of me to chase him screaming "DO YOU EVER WANT TO BE ABLE TO HAVE CHILDREN?!"?
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
No, I'm in the bathroom trying to scrub off the 16 tally marks on my wrist so its not so obviously to the world that I puked on a couch last night.
Yessssssssss. I got taped to a couch last night apparently. I also thought i was close to scoring after talking to some chick about hard boiled eggs
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
You know you had a good night when you wake up cuddling a baseball bat and a can of chicken noodle soup.
I was so drunk at your wedding that Uber is now showing up in my Spotify recent searches.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
I just gave a fucking twenty minute blowiob.. I'm a GOOD girlfriend.
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