How can something that makes you feel so good one day make you feel so bad the next?
Alcohol?
Sex with a fat chick.
Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
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Appropriately today was the first time I've ever GTL'd. I can't believe I made fun of this,it's rather relaxing.
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
ya i guess you have to take things with a grain of salt in a place where nipple clamps are the norm..
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
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I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
Stop trying to mix nacho cheese and sex. Guys don’t want hot cheese near their junk. Pick a better fetish
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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