Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
I just made princess spaghettios..and I wonder why she broke up with me for not being mature enough.
just found preset five on the shower head...pretty sure my pussy just had a panic attack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
obviously my correlation between being a pro surfer and being extremely good in bed was 100% wrong.
Bad news. I lost my teeth. Good news. I can still take a guy home sans teeth.
people at meijer look at you funny when you have 37 bottles of champagne in your cart.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
And he put my hair in my clip while i blew him...and he did a good job
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