he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
Just walked by a guy on campus YELLING 'Im still hammered'
I can't wait to find out the true size of his penis! Please maintain enough sobriety for an accurate report.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This from the guy I found eating salad out of a pot lid in his boxers on his porch last night.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
Cooked breakfast with his mom this morning...I'm like the housewife of one night stands
He said the first movie he ever jerked off to was Titanic because he knew "they were totally doing it in that car."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Her vagina is like the upper echelon of Scientology and I don't have enough money to get in
It's 7:30pm and we've already lost someone and had to run from the cops. What the fuck did you put in the punch?
For not being a nurse or a sex worker I have seen an alarming amount of penises.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
I wore the clothes I got arrested in last night to work today.....there is no where but up from here!
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