I must be too annoying 4 u.
he asked me what things i liked that he did in bed, and i told him all the things i hated so he would use it on that new bitch and she wouldnt hook up with him anymore.
you for real need to get over him dude
Is it weird that I miss finding cum in my bed?
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
People were autographing me. I'm like the spring break yearbook
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Watching the series finale of Friends and crying in my Thai food. I don't like hangover Jared.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
He says it takes a lot to subdue the urge to just bury his face in my vagina. Of course, I have absolutely no problem with this.
No, it's okay that he's on a date. I attach no more emotion to him than I do my vibrator.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
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