sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
Just found out that I was singing john legend songs as I threw up last night. Quality.
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Let me put it this way - if I had a list of things I would like between my legs, she would rank below the cello I turned into firewood sophomore year.
He used Kanye West lyrics to justify what happened and I accepted his logic
A drawer in my room has nothing but a large feather quill, a wine glass, and a 15" Bowie knife. If you could put my life in a drawer I think that would be it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
So I met one of her cousins last night. She recognized me as "the guy that's always in the liquor store", I may have a problem.
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
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