It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
we did it on the golf course and he threw the condom in the pond. some poor fish is gonna choke on it
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
sleazy september. first one with mono loses.
i woke up and found a picture of his grandma in my purse.. im a kelpto
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
as I was leaving in the morning with his clothes on his roommate pops up and goes 'don't you dare steal that shirt, i gave it to him for his birthday'.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
Randomize
