dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
He showed up 3 hours late wearing roller skates and acted like nothing was wrong with that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They ran through the sprinklers in front of campus police, shirtless. Singing "love is a battlefield"
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
You had your shirt off checking IDs at the door and you don't even work there
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No it'll be my boobs and the luge part will be from my nipples. Everyone will be sucking beer from my perfectly sculpted and partially melted tits.
So....I just took a paddle fan on high speed to the side of the head while getting head...still finished the job, good thing I'm drunk and couldn't feel it.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
This is a hangover from hell. Delivered by the devil himself.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
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