its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
dude there is absolutely no room for a slide in our room
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
He took my virginity but also my remaining pizza. i dont know how to feel right now.
You have a long distance relationship and I have a long distance snapchat sexting buddy. If that doesn't describe who we are as people then I don't know what does.
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
