when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Still drunk just puked in the meat cooler tried to clean it up with ham. Its not working
they would be such cute babies and they would grow up to have huge dicks. and that would make me proud as a mother
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
if you ever get a chance to, fuck in a lecture hall. great acoustics. highly recommend it.
Its not college unless your study breaks were to go throw up from blacking out the night before
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
You tried crawling through the apartment window instead of going through the wide open door next to it
Not as great as when your drunk mom grabbed my junk, but better than when your sober grandma sacktapped me and grabbed my butt.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
THAT'S MY GIRL
KICKING BUT AND GETTING PEOPLE INTOXICATED
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
