I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
Ahhh... Adderall running out my nose in the shower really brings back memories.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
YOU ARE STRONGER THAN YOUR VAGINA
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
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