Why do i always get involved with 3 women at once?
Because life brings drama and thus like moths to a flame, women
Its a "sake bomb in the bathroom during class" kind of day.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
No more morning sex. Just for once, my vagina would like to go to work bone-dry and bone-free.
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
Sent him a snap chat of him eating me out so he can relive the moment.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Randomize
