i don't like sucking hair
I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
The walk of shame has never felt more glorious... I think it's the somberero
Don't judge me. If you're going to fall off a bed you might as well do it gracefully into a bag full of beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
there is no excuse for drinking mascato in your room alone while listening to one-hit wonders from the 90s
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
Just ate a gummy bear I found in my sheets. So yeah, 2013 is SO gonna be my year.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If I come in tomorrow with a cane and a seeing eye dog it's because I just mixed up my salicylic acid acne stuff with my eye makeup remover
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
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