Just ran to the store on my way to the office to buy Diet Coke...the guy in front of me let me cut because it was 4 more minutes until 8am, so he wouldn't be able to purchase his vodka. I love Wisconsin
I think horse shit smells the best of all shits.
How does she give head with a nose like that? It looks like she has a plantain stuck in the middle of her face.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I told him id do anything with him and he said angry pirate? So I said okay. Never seeing him again.
What's an angry pirate?
You dont want to know. If someone offers say no. Never ever do the angry pirate. Ever.
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
FOund a bunch of old fireworks spring cleaning.
Who is our new insurance provider?
Please call us Steph is okay but missing phone wallet tooth
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
and you fell through a lawn chair
No you just wanted to pass out in your hallway because your room was too far away
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
It’s awful. They need to open the bars. I’m now trolling grocery stores looking for dick
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