I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
U have to come, I miss the sound of you throwing up.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He left an apology note saying he had to work and that there was coffee, OJ and food on the table with two Excedrin. I left his spare key with the door guard and she said "too bad I don't go for skinny white boys or I'd jump you both!" Best one night stand ever.
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Starting the weekend with a pair of pants on which the zipper wont stay up. Is this a sign of things to come??
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Nah I think he's a bit weirded out I worked out where he lives from a Facebook photo
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
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