your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
By connection do you mean me drunkenly grinding my ass on his lap for an extended period of time? If so, then yes, we had a "connection"
but he used his one phone call to call mom and wish her happy mothers day, that's gotta count for somethin
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
throwing condoms aimed at his crotch probably isn't the politest way to ask for sex
you called her butter tits and then threw up in your cup. i dont know if theres any way to come back from that
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
can you please explain how one drink turns into 5 street signs with their poles lying around my room
My mouth already tastes like senor cuervo took a piss in it and it's barely 1 am
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If it snows I'm just gonna sit at my house in my costume and drink beer by myself all night.
Last time we talked he was trying to sext me but he was including pictures of fruit
I just tried to roll over and fell off the bed. I think that is the beds way of kicking me out
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
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