Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
People with herpes should wear stickers.
Well, I guess that settles the question of how thick the walls are in my building.
sitting in an airport in detroit. just saw a commercial for detroit tourism with kid rock as a spokesman. reason # 1458 to never visit this city.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Dude..her orgasm sent her into a seizure...theres no joke here. It happened.
You really need to tell him that he has a girlfriend. I'm not sure he knows
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
I just saw the Mona Lisa in the background of a porno. Whole new appreciation for art. fuck you I'm cultured.
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
I think he's holding my wallet hostage because I puked in his car. It's not my fault he has child locks on his windows..
You will bone me until my eyeballs fall out. This is not a request.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Randomize
