I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
I feel fat after drinking my meal replacement shake.
I added chocolate sauce, a bsg of m&ms and a crushed up brownie to make it taste better.
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
I don't know what's more pathetic, the fact that you dated him or the fact that it took a Taylor Swift song for you to break up with him.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
You thought your socks were broken. They were just inside out.
What was the name of that place where we saw that concert? It was like a warehouse and some guy was living in the loft above the stage...
It's called: a legit place to drop acid.
The narcoleptic neighbor conked out while taking her dog out again. Drinking game based on what the dog does and how long she's out. You in?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
HE WILL NEVER BE ONE OF US. HE WILL NEVER BE A DECENT, GOD-FEARING WHORE.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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