You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
So after THIS dui, I've decided to stop driving. Not drinking, just quit driving.
She just got back from rehab. You dont celebrate that with margaritas.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Hey, hey, hey, hey. This is a hurriCAN.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
Spring Fling is on 420. The theme better be 'Flower Child'.
I want there to be fog machines and unicorns.
Fun fact. I am at the police dept. getting served a warrant for unpaid ordinance... and the officer was a one night stand from like 10 years ago.
So I'm thinking that so long as I have this piercing, I'm going to get tested for explosives at the airport
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
Would you still love me if my nipple fell off?
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Randomize
