Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
She rode me to the beat of Baby Got Back. I swear to god.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
Got some good news and bad news about the hayride this weekend.
The good news is its still on, the bad news is we don't have any hay. The best news, if you drink enough you won't give a fuck that its just a trailer.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
The only alcohol in the house was a bottle of Sherry. It's like cough syrup that I shotgunned off Strawberry Shortcake's ass.
DAMMIT Im supposed to be running a company not discussing dick piercings!
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Could you just like have a friend who feels bad for me and secretly always wanted to have sex with me
He suck his junk in my HALF BAKED. Ben & Jerry would totally disapprove. This is worse than sticky dick donut day.
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
