can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
Vanessa Carlton's songs would be so much better if she was pretty
the bottle said: caution extremely flammable. so that was my motivation.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
I automatically know you're drunk now as soon as you start yelling in spanish
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
I am not saying having unprotected sex in my boss' pool was a good idea, I am just saying it wasn't my worst idea of the summer.
Just had the "whores are people too" talk with Mom. Bright side it's Christmas, and I may have been drunk, I don't think she caught on.
I knew it was going to be good when he took off my bra and I only realized 5 minutes later
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
So our night ended with 6 cruisers, a fire truck, and an ambulance. Also, lots of blood. How was yours?
be the chaos you wish to see in the world...
i'm trying to figure out how to respond to that in text
Randomize
