Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sometimes I feel like I shouldn't drink when I come out of a black out half naked covered in puke. Then I realize thats why I drink.
Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
its official now. im not pissing on secret service cars with a senators inside anymore.
:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
I apparently tried to stop my spending of money by sealing the top of my wallet with gum
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I found him down the block clinging to a light post laughing and crying because a house "looked like it had buck teeth"
Because of him my new motto is "Keep calm and fuck a guy with a beard". Yes, I am serious.
Just had a 40 min argument about how many celebrity guest appearances on Sesame Street were court ordered for DUIs.
The wizard has you scheduled for a 6am sex breakfast
I'm so there
They should make eskimo sister bracelets. OMG WE NEED BRACELETS WITH IGLOOS ON THEM.
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
