It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
Nothin says happy bday jesus like a shot with your loved ones.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
It was the third Sunday in a row that I woke up in his bathtub. So no our sex life isn't that great anymore.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
I have a weird question... did you bite my back last night?
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Happy 20th birthday! I hope you like anxiety and having your debit card declined at McDonald's!
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