I fell asleep next to my cousin and woke up with my hand in her pants because i though it was lisa
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
We were all singing so you said you were going to play a percussion instrument... the crackers.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Managed to discreetly puke out of a moving streetcar window, in front of no less than a dozen people. Nobody saw/said anything. I feel like a legit local now.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
I complemented his smile, he sends me a dick pic. Seriously?
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
All I want is to get shitfaced and fuck random strangers is that really to much to ask?
Randomize
