i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
i guess this means i'm going to be wearing knee socks during sex again
Just saw a woman in a hospital gown with a Steelers jersey on top smoking a cigarette while hooked up to an IV outside of the hospital. I love Pittsburgh.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
I let a naked juice spill down my leg for like 30 minutes bc i thought i was hallucinating that my leg was cold.
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
You need to stop me from lighting my hand on fire next time we're working
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
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