I have a new suitor he got my # last nite... I was to tipsy to function! What was I thinking!! It's like u when u first met me
If you're gonna cry pregnant again I'm not coming over.
its sad that the first thing i assume is that ur trying to indirectly tell me you fucked on a breakfast table
by asking you if you bought one for the apartment?
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Your excessive judging is making this uncomfortable
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
and I think you ate the old crusty spaghetti on the counter when we came home last night judging by the carnage
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
It doesn't count as "finding the lesbian" if you fuck a straight girl!
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
