Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
whats a more ladylike way to say "fuck me on your lunch break"?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
the shoes thing blows my mind idk how the fuck i did that and im also missing 4 of my birth control pills like did i drunkenly decide to overload my body with estrogen
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He was pretty bad, I wanted pizza the whole time.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
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