every time you feel disappointed with the red wings take a shot
Scratch that. Lia's boy toy's brother has a gorilla costume. This is gonna be great.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
then he asked me if i wanted to "handle his wingman"
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
Look, as a friend I'm asking to see a picture of his tiny dick
This will be the 3rd time you have blacked out and lost your phone only to have some kind stranger find it, charge it, call me, then mail it back to you. Your luck amazes me...
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Yea there's blood all over the porch but we wont have to buy alcohol for the rest of the week
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
Look, road flare archery was agreed on. We both accepted it was a shit idea sober, but did it drunk anyway.
Randomize
