I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
why was he too nerdy?
he was a tetris block for halloween
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
you wouldn't believe how quickly birth control dissolves in vodka
Hey. Whatever time u wake up let me know Ur alive. I need my vegas partner... I don't think they let u take corpses on a plane.
Please don't let me drink ever again. I apparently told him he could stay but as there was no room in the bed he'd have to lie on top of me and he'd need to anchor himself on with his penis so he didn't fall off.
After the Patriots lost I punched him in the face. But I still feel like that isn't a good reason to dump me.
then he grabbed my tit and yelled "FOR NARNIA!!" then dove into my vag. i think I will do him again strictly for the entertainment value
You slapped the bar and yelled "daddys thirsty!" at the lady behind the bar
To be fair I was thirsty
When she told you not to yell you looked directly at me and screamed "Man, she sucks!"
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I'm looking for whatever I can find, and afford without having to eat my emotional support cat
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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