She's a Laker fan, her sister is a Celtic fan... no matter who wins I'm getting a celebration bj from one of them!
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I AM SENDING THIS TEXT MESSAGE SO I DON'T LOOK AT HIM. THANK YOU FOR RECEIVING IT.
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I'm so high. Midnight pancake breakfast in bed
He's drinking on a hospital bracelet, the fuck's your excuse?
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
My mom just looked at me and said; "You've been pretty bitchy lately do you need some dick?" WTF has happened to me?
I'm drunk but I just ate 2 heads of broccoli so does that mean it evens out?
Yes absolutlely
He bent me in ways I couldn't imagine.. and im a gymnast.
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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