I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
Yes but life is bad with poopy sheets
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are a finance major, can I use my 529 account for your bail?
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
He barged in the room with no shirt on, all fucking ripped with a half keg under one arm. Sara now calls him Bronan the Beerbarian
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
My dad is sitting where you rode me
You think you can just send me a picture of your dick and everything will be ok?
Yep.
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