Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Someone's vagina was extra sandy cause the left side of my bed feels like the beach.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
All I need to do is acquire a Shrek costume.
Please don't traumatize your girlfriend too terribly. Have fun.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
taking shots alone in my kitchen before I go learn to give a lapdance. when did this become my life?
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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