Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
That's the great thing about NY, if you pee your dress you have an entire cab ride to air dry your panties before the next club.
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
I know it's not your turn to do the dishes, but since they're covered in your puke, it is.
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
Lightning struck the tree right outside of her window as I came inside her. I think its God's way of saying go by plan b.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I just came inside of a Gatorade bottle. That hungover.
I told him if he cums in my mouth he has to buy me a cake that says "sorry I came in your mouth"
did i make more ranch sandwiches last night
you had 4
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I'm drunk and in a paddle boat and my friend won't quit yelling about pandas. Does this ever happen to you?
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