You can't special order awesome
I am watching Grease 2 and properly learning how to apply a condom to a banana. This is a sign from God that this is the closest I will ever get to having the need for one.
New thing to add to the list of never wanted to talk about with my grandma: sweating in ur crouch and vag area
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
the girl i fucked last night woke up this morning, disoriented and looked at me, and said "oh, you're hot." and went back to sleep.
he kept a regular condom in his wallet just so he could comment on how it wouldnt fit before whipping out the magnums. i give him points for the build up
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Your mission, should you decide to accept it, is to pick up rum, beer, and cigarettes. Your holiday will self-destruct if you ignore this message.
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
My mother expressed her concerns about my drinking via a facebook message.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
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