North Korea, Best Korea!
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
She fell onto my light and broke all four plants. I don't care how good the blowjob was.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
I feel the need to send all my exes pictures of penises larger than theirs. Because they all must suffer.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
