Dude, my boy c***** and I hooked up with Asian sisters last night in the same room
Then I put on blue by Eiffel 65 and security showed up and yelled at us for being too loud. Also, they stopped fucking because no one can fuck to eiffel 65
I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
my way of studying for our final tomorrow: registering online to retake the class in the fall
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Apparently he ran around last night saying he was 'the hulk hogan of muff diving'
If people don't want my drunken phone call then TAKE YOUR FUCKING NUMER OFF OF FACEBOOK, like it's just that easy...
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
CUTE BOY IN THE OFFICE WALKED BY AS I WAS STARING IN HORROR AT HARRY POTTER THEMED SKELETON PORN
Nothing says responsible like taking your birth control with an open bottle of wine you left on your night stand from the night before
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
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