We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
He told me he had more lines than a plaid shirt
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
Well, ive pounded a baby into a stripper and a girl who was on jerry springer, a 16 year old is logically next.
I am paying my roommate as much of the electric bill in pennies as possible because I hate her.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Company party. Just told vp "you look like a cat person"
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
she got into med school, i feel dumb for banging her dance major friend
Just found an "inspected with pride" sticker on or around my vagina
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
They said you went back in for 30 minutes and were walking with your arms out like an eagle soaring
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