he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
all i remeber is falling off a fence and banging him in the middle of the street, not sure which one gave me this cut
Selling Girl Scout Cookies outside bars for higher than retail value has got to be the most profitable idea. Ever.
By "met a doctor" I really mean "fucked a pre med student"
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
Why are you naked at 4pm?
Its my birthday, I dont have to wear clothes
ok first of all what the fuck
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