yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
Since when does sleeping with your RA not result in free meal swipes? I feel so tricked...
No idea how he made them, but vodka water balloons were a horrible idea.
You pulled down your pants, pissed in the recliner, and wiped yourself with my utility bill. I thought it was in the worlds best interest to put you to bed.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
BUT I think maybe Thursday in celebration of America we should probably tan and see how fast we can finish everything in the liquor cabinet.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
If Boring and Monotone had a love child, it would be this guy.
I'm drunk listening and crying to Selena. How's your Monday?
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
Randomize