marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
used his ipod to set the mood...1st song was livin on a prayr 2nd song was disco stick
i expected more from guys that i meet at the jersey shore.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Dude. Remember the only two rules I set for that? Always have a sober friend and don't do drugs with a fat chick.
Just induced vomiting to put out a carpet fire.
Everyone is cheering
my cockatiel has aquired a taste for beer. I should not be allowed to own exotic pets.
Why can't I come over and snuggle you and make you lick my boots
You got this. You survived the RA last semester (granted you almost got arrested but still.)
well I didn't shave for the hot dilf I banged last week so I'm sure as hell not shaving for you. Sry
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
Trying to figure out why my back is hurting. And then I remember I got fucked up against a tree last night
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
I do have a moral compass! I can’t help it if it only points at penises
Randomize
