I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
It's not like I ment to feed you the shots of vodka, my hand just kinda slipped.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
You were chugging tap water out of a running blender screaming "bubbles is Perrier mother fucker"
One public bathroom does not equal a wedding vow
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
I get sad thinking about all the sex I’m missing out on because of the virus
I instituted “quarantine and chill” months ago. It’s not like penises go soft just because they’re working at home.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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