Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
We call it lazy sex. We just lay next to each other and help each other masturbate. that way we can both be on bottom.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Was I shouting at a fire engine last Friday?
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
And we're now at 8 people from the office coming to my desk to ask me "do you feel better?".
Some guy just drank alcohol from me shoe..I think he's had enough..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like weed makes my smarter. I'm watching the stocks and the way I understand if, do not invest in Yahoo right now because they are not fit for that.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
he gave me a flinstones gummy vitamin and was like, "ya know.. because of ebola."
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
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