Did yall have sex?
Well we both woke up naked and there was a condom wrapper on the floor, but I don't remember so does that count?
Def not... that's how I managed to keep my number under 10 for all of college- If you don't remember, it didn't happen
i fell asleep on him beating off on webcam last night, i'm such a great boyfriend.
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
I still havent given him the valentines day card i got him. I feel like just writting...."sorry for the horrible blow job i gave u last night." and just giving it to him.
Sorry about blasting sandstorm on a loop when i left for work this morning. But maybe this will teach you to not come home trashed on a tuesday night with some chick and have loud sex till 4 in the morning. The walls are thin, remember?
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I just replaced the poop spray with an air horn... Now we wait!
He literally said, while inside me, "I would smack your ass but I don't want to wake my mom up". Amazing.
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
I twisted my ankle while drunkenly playing in my adult kickball league. Now I'm having to use my grandpa's cane to walk at this party. I am so single.
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
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