Exactly how many bongs can i have before my parents figure out they really aren't vases
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
you spent the night getting lap dances from a stripper with a c-section scar then ended up at a one room casino by the airport and you say you're too good to blaze and see pirahna 3d? bullshit
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
i get the sense she is planing new and exciting ways to physically harm me during sex
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
I just want to know how she convinced 6 sober ROTC guys to have an ab contest on a street corner at 2 in the morning.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Just so were clear your wife is cut off from my dick.
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
Dude I had my dad cock block me once
Randomize
