so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
Been considering the feasibility of adopting a kangaroo. Yes I'm very serious. And yes I'm very high.
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Find out what day classes start and I will come down to Richmond that weekend. Any broad who claims to be 18-21 will be promptly ID'd. My job has trained me to spot a fake from a mile away, and I don't need a statutory rape charge.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
i may or may not have triedto pee like a boy and then dipped cheese ino the olive oil
No, it's ok. He's Greek. To him I'm just a light drinker, not an alcoholic.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going to get high and eat ice cream until the pain goes away. You're welcome to join.
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I just opened a beer with a child's toy at a 5 year olds birthday....can you look up the next AA meeting?!!
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
I woke up to him watching me sleep and after I told him it was over he asked if we were still on for Vegas next weekend
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