when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
Do you relize what downtown will be like this week? Like open season. But instead of deer its hot baseball players from all over the country that we'll never have to see again. I swear the college world series is a gift from god.
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
She said I'm so hungry I could eat a dick and winked at me
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
The only thing I know is that these arent my shoes and Aaron is missing and he has my house keys.
I masterbated poison ivy onto my penis, it hasn't been this upset with me since the Take one for the team fiasco of 02.
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
I may have been bent over an elementary school lunch table a few weeks ago. Don't judge.
Randomize
