We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I'm pretty sure at one point I was telling her to keep her dick in her pants. She was going to do some serious damage.
she gave me one of her senior pics and told me specifically to give it to you. In other words she still wants to suck your dick.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
went thru the pain of a Brazilian and he's passed the fuck out while i eat Doritos and watch tbs. fuck married life i want out
everyone at work keeps looking at me like they know I got the herp this weekend
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hahaha it was a great moment in my life. This must be what post child birth feels like, given you don't get a combined asshole/ vagina
Why is it that every study session with you turns into a hunt for drugs?
So question... If I'm sexting with uncircumcised guy, do I have to add *then i gently pull your foreskin down*?
I just found out that my husband and I are Eskimo siblings. What in the actual fuck?!
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
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