I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
drunk making out is the fucking beeeest. specially when it's your exboyfriend
I wonder if you'll be as excited about this as you are now tomorrow morning.
I was greeting people at my door feeding them jello shots out of an ice cube tray with a spoon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
did you just send me my own nude
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
no fucks will be given and no pants will be worn
i'll bring the vodka
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