I feel like I'm in dance class right now
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Its midnight, he's burning water on the stove and keeps yelling at me and telling me not to burn myself.
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
I'm pretty sure getting a blow job behind a bar in Rome while her little sister is throwing up in a dumpster not 5 feet away, gives entirely new meaning to the phrase "When in Rome"
You tried to luge a beer down a flip flop.
Btw...I puked in my hand last night and threw it on the floor. Don't let me do tequila ever again.
When I take mushrooms I can feel your presence down there. I can feel where Africa is too.
He has a bed frame and a headboard.... That match his dresser and nightstand...
Hahah. That's good.
I feel like you don't understand the severity with which this weirds me out...
I just blew thrown up hashbrowns out my nose. That's the level of this hangover.
So, anyways, aside from wanting to seduce my roommate for booze, how's everything been
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
I don't know. Seeing the vagina stretched out beyond normal proportions is like watching your favorite superhero die.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
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