Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
JOSHUA! WE ARE SO BREAKING UP!
what?
YOU'RE DRUNK AGAIN, ARENT YOU?!
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
Could guys at least pretend I require some amount of money to be spent before I randomly go down on them?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Who was that guy I met at your brother's house who had to get stitches in his ass?
Strip beer pong in the front yard? Of course the cops showed up
Some chick just barfed in my math class. Everyone here is hungover. Yay community college
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
She was yelling at the tater tots, "In five minutes, you're going in my mouth!"
On the flip side, we did almost have sex wearing a gorilla mask and deer antlers.............
Afterwards he face timed like four of his friends screaming he banged the hot intern.
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Did anyone see us fucking last night on the giant turtle outside downtown Disney?
Randomize
