I'm sitting at the gyno watching cnn in the waiting room
Everyone is walking funny when they come out, ugh I'm not looking forward to this
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Using the salt from a pretzel bag for tequila shots. Come over.
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Everyone keeps telling me I look so healthy and happy today: the power of the penis people!!
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
I should probably just LinkedIn request everyone I've ever slept with so they stop popping up on my suggested connections list
Maybe the "i killed someone" and "tequila makes my clothes come off" comments freaked him out.
she wouldnt leave because they were playing One Direction. I'm dating a thirteen year old.
Randomize
